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Stop SHOULDing On Yourself

Updated: Jul 27, 2020


Melissa Fickett Coach
Stop Shoulding on Yourself

You can change your vibration, your mood, and your life by eliminating one commonly overused word – SHOULD.

I was in a coaching session a couple months ago and I caught myself using the word SHOULD several times. I have often pointed out to my clients the disservice of the word SHOULD in their vocabulary. Yet, here I was, using it almost subconsciously in conversation with my coach.

Should is such a disparaging word. It implies that you are wrong. That you are doing something wrong. That you are purposely not doing what you know is right to do.

We use this word with good intentions, though. We tell ourselves that we should change our negative habits, improve our lives, and that we should take better care of ourselves and others.

We mean well!

But how does it FEEL when we SHOULD on ourselves?

“I should start working out”

“I should eat healthier”

“I should drink more water”

It feels defeating. It feels like, this is something that will make our lives better, but since we are not doing it, there is something wrong with us.

And so, we SHOULD on ourselves, and end up feeling bad about the things we SHOULD be doing.

BUT it doesn’t have to be this way! Simply change your SHOULD to a COULD and now, your life is open to a world of possibilities!! Let’s try it on!

“I could start working out” … This prompts the brain to think of ways to make this work. When would be a good time to fit in a work out? I could pop in an exercise video. I could join the gym. The brain responds with “How could I start working out?”

“I could eat healthier” - Instantly the mind says – How could I eat healthier? This makes me want to skip that extra pat of butter in my potatoes!

“I could drink more water” – YES! I could keep a mug of lemon water with me throughout the day.

Pay attention to your self talk. How are you Shoulding on yourself? The next time you catch yourself using the word should, STOP and ask yourself how that statement FEELS within your body. Now, restate your sentence, changing the SHOULD to a COULD and see what happens!

This one little shift will empower you to feel better and move forth in a more positive direction!


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