Updated: Dec 3, 2020
Dialogue 4 is all about getting ready for the 48 hour solo intensive, called the “rewire retreat”.\
We learn this week that emotions are the building block to brain tissue and affect our physical bodies. They change hormonal balance and our endocrine glands. When we change our emotions, we change our brain! We learn that a lifetime of suppressing emotions in whatever capacity does NOT help or heal them. Time does NOT heal all wounds. In fact, these wounds fester and grow and erupt from time to time in the form of reacting to loved ones, flipping out in traffic, and losing ourselves in so many forms. We learn that no emotion is bad and that suppressed emotions actually cause disease. So not only do these suppressed emotions cause strife in our relationships, personal, and professional lives, but they cause stress, anxiety, depression, muscle tension, nausea, digestive problems. Studies have linked repressed emotions to cardiovascular disease and cancer, too!
We spend ample time and energy organizing and gathering all of the emotional work we will be processing at the retreat. We investigate what our distractions are and plan to stop them 4-5 days before the retreat.
We humans often use distractions to escape our emotions. When emotions like anger, disappointment, hurt, rejection, or boredom, surface, rather than work through and process these emotions, we often choose to dive into a distraction for relief. There are so many distractions to choose from and I’ve used many over the years to numb the pain.
My biggest distraction right now is media. Netflix, Facebook, text messaging, Facebook messenger, YouTube, Gaia, even my favorite audio books are sometimes used as distractions.
Giving up distractions provides a dual purpose. First, we are going to be working for 48 hours straight on dialogue 5. If we are accustomed to hitting our phones every 5 or 10 minutes, it will take away from our focus. Same for drinking wine or online shopping or whatever our distractions of choice are. The second purpose for quitting our distractions is to build up emotional tension within our beings. Sounds weird, right? This time allows us to begin feeling those feelings that we are suppressing. This is of great importance for a successful retreat. Right now, I am on my second day of no distractions, and yesterday, I cheated a little bit. But today and for the next 3 days, zero Netflix and I am being very mindful with my screen time. Part of my job is making connections online, so I can’t give up screens entirely. Having this focus in Dialogue 4 really makes me notice how much time I spend on screens and how much of that time is just wasted. I intend to be more mindful in this area of my life.
With my retreat reservations made, I am looking forward to staying in a hotel room with a kitchenette. It is highly recommended we do not do this retreat at home, even if we live alone. There are just too many familiar distractions calling for our attention. AirBnb is a great option, hotel room, and best of all would be if you have a friend or family member that has a vacation home you can use for 48 hours.
As for my goal, I’m doing really well. Last week, I achieved my goal of 4 action items in each category of business, home, and body. I’m learning that this is just becoming a way of life. I am literally changing my life to be something different. Creating new habits. I knew this was the perfect goal for me to focus on because I know it takes 3 weeks to establish a pattern and about 6 months to make it a more permanent way of life. Three months of focus on my body, house, and business is a great way to create the momentum I desire.
When I check in next, I will be a new woman. Having expelled my emotional demons, I should be looking at life from a fresh new perspective.